Category Archives: Michigan

“So what do you do?”

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As an introverted young adult with still no idea what I want to be when I grow up and a job that I’m not particularly fond of, this question causes me more anxiety than being asked “so when will you have babies?”.

Why does it matter what I do?

I feel like this question has become a basis on which I am judged. That whatever my answer is, will provide the asker with a quick synopsis of my education, skills, and financial situation, 3 things that don’t define who I am. This quick judgment makes me feel uncomfortable and like the person asking doesn’t really want to know about ME.

I am so much more than my seemingly dead-end job.

I am an aspiring chef!

I am a dog lover and cat snuggler.

I am a wannabe half-marathoner.

I am a lazy person.

I am a former soccer, softball, tennis, and volleyball player and dutch dancer.

I am a good listener.

I am an avid reader.

I’m the best aunt to my BFF’s little Leah.

I love spending time kissing my husband.

I love spending my summers driving to Michigan as much as possible.

I’m a pretty good sister.

I enjoy drinking beer and talking for hours.

I hate spending too much time in large groups.

I was made to be a mom.

When I get asked what I do (which happens more and more frequently as I get older), I cringe before I give a quick answer of “Oh, I’m a social worker.” I hate the response I get for that: “oh you must see such sad things!” “oh you are so selfless and patient and kind” (spoiler- I’m not really. I often tell my husband I’m a princess) “Oh that must be hard” “Do you take children out of their families?” While yes, I do see sad things, and yes, it can be challenging, my job is not my passion or life and it doesn’t define who I am at all. I’ve come to just saying “I work at LFCS” and leave it open ended and vague (I love vague and hate giving personal details about anything).

I know I’m not the only person who feels this way. My friend is in a job rut right now, too, and was instructed not to tell his Grandmother for fear of her response.

WHY?

Well, 1., because Grandma is a (wonderful) crazy person and you don’t want to hear her abrasive opinions,
and 2., because to her, your job and well-being defines success. I don’t like that.

My success will come from raising my children to be kind, gentle, and God-loving creatures.

My success comes from my AWESOME marriage.

My success comes from my friendships and relationships with my family.

My success will be once I finally cross that finish line of the half marathon I so desperately want to run.

My success comes when I try a new recipe that turns out fantastic.

My success will come from providing for my family, sure, but only so I can do the things that actually make me, me.

Don’t ask me what I “do”.

Ask me about who I am.

And then help me find a new job 😉

Mangosquash

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If you know me in real life, you know that I’m borderline obsessed with my husband, mangosquash. I feel so lucky because he loves me so much and treats me so well. I honestly question most days how I scored him as a spouse for life. Poor guy got stuck with me.

So the other day I was cooking up a gourmet frozen pizza and remembered how before we met, I never ate frozen pizzas. I kept thinking about all the things he brought into my life and decided to make a list. This is by no means comprehensive.

  1. Frozen Jack’s Pizzas

I never in a million years would buy frozen pizzas for myself. I thought they were icky and cheap and full of preservatives. Turns out, they’re actually pretty tasty. I like to throw on lots of extra mozzarella for super gooey cheesy bites.

  1. Hot Sauce

I used to be a wimpy eater. I didn’t like spice at all. I’d avoid chili and wings and curries for fear of not enjoying my food if I was in pain while eating it. Now I’m all “FRANKS RED HOT ON ALL THE FOODS!” Jon likes things super spicy so I’ve started making most dishes with a kick to them. I’m growing.

  1. Chicken Wings

Another thing that I used to never eat. Not necessarily because I didn’t like them, but they just weren’t a part of my life. But when Jon and I first started dating, we would go on double dates weekly with 2 other friends to Buffalo Wild Wings. They are now a whole food group in our house. Spicier the better.

  1. Camp Arcadia

Jon grew up going to this magical land for most of his childhood, and when we met, he had just been hired back for his second summer on staff. I was able to celebrate his (extremely drunken) 21st birthday with him there at the lone bar in town, the Big Apple (may it RIP, but also is reopening next summer). It didn’t take long for me to fall in love it with; camp is a quiet, beautiful place right on the shores of Lake Michigan. There are so many wonderful lifelong friends we have there. Jon’s parents now own a house up in Arcadia so we are able to bring our precious pooch with us. We love it so much, it was the obvious choice for our wedding and reception over 2 years ago.  It also conveniently worked out in such a way that my hometown, Holland, is literally on the way up to camp from STL, so this enables us to visit my parents each time we go up to camp. We already talk about the days where we can bring our children up and teach them to swim and give them the same experience Jon enjoyed so much.

  1. Ultimate Frisbee

Jon isn’t by any means “athletic”, but he does love playing ultimate Frisbee. He played in college on the club team and for intramurals, and now back in STL he joined the local summer league. When I moved here, I joined him for a summer and love it. Already looking forward to next summer when I can (hopefully!) participate in active sports again. This summer I sat out due to my surgery.

  1. Puppies

Not that I didn’t already think puppies weren’t the cutest little things ever, but I never really loved dogs themselves. Jon grew up with dogs his whole life so I knew it was inevitable that it would be something he would want for us. I found an adorable pup on Craigslist that I HADTOHAVE and since he really wanted a dog, he agreed. Since getting our pup I now love and appreciate every single dog I meet (and I meet a lot. Owning a dog makes you very social).

Ok, so this list kind of sucks. Moral of the story, though, is that I am so thankful for a man that pushes my comfort level and encourages me. Love you sweetheart!

Miching Missigan.

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I love Missouri. No, actually, I love St. Louis. Missouri is a strange place. But as much as I do love St. Louis, there are so many reasons I dislike living here. Most of them are just because I grew up in the greatest place on earth (West Michigan, guys, not Disneyland. They’ve been lying to you this whole time), and I miss it dearly. The other reasons I hate living here are because the summers are brutal (110 and humid, no thanks) and because there are an exorbitant amount of snakes (I haven’t actually seen one here, but I hear stories, and that’s enough for me).

Growing up in West Michigan, specifically Holland, was the greatest. The summers are magical, the beach is pristine (not to mention the water is clean and salt-free), the snow is beautiful, true nature is only ever less than a miles’ drive away. There are many festivals unique to the area, like Tulip Time and the Waterfront Film Festival and Coast Guard festival. There are no big-big cities nearby so it’s never extremely crowed, but it’s still big enough that most people know where you are talking about (which is usually followed by, “OMG you grew up there? I’ve been there/know someone who went to Hope/driven through and loved it/am jealous of your upbringing because it’s the greatest place on Earth, definitely in front of Disneyland.”).  Most people have vacationed in Michigan at least once (at least that’s what I’ve come to assume. Here in Missouri, Michigan is the place of choice for their summer vacas. But maybe I’ve been hanging out with too many Lutherans. They all go to Camp Arcadia [the second-most magical place on earth].) and have nothing but great things to say.

So Lydia, you would ask, since you love Michigan more than any place else in the world, why did you move to Misery? Well, I would answer, I fell in love during college, and my darling boyfriend-turned-fiancé-turned-husband moved back to his hometown of St. Louis before I graduated, so I moved here post-grad once I received a job offer. Coming up on 3 years of living here, I love it, I really do, but nothing can replace the spot in my heart for Michigan. I just miss it, and I hate being so far away.

My hometown of HollMich is a solid 6.5 hour drive from St. Louis, if you don’t get stuck in Chicago traffic. When I tell people that, most say “Oh that’s not too bad!” No. It’s terrible. It frustrates me to no end. It’s just a little TOO far for us to drive there for just a weekend without taking a few vacation hours, but also a little too close to justify spending money on airfare (which I have done, and always feel guilty about). Also, if you aren’t my parents with a very flexible schedule, nobody wants to come visit you. All our friends and siblings are low on the totem pole with their jobs, so we are their last priority when it comes to where to spend their precious vacation days. I get it. I really do. I’m in the same boat. But I miss them. Shout out to those of you who think we are important enough to visit. 🙂

As a result, we end up using all our vacation days to go there instead. Is it worth it? Absolutely. But I also want to take other trips with my new husband or maybe just take a vacation day to sit and rest around here, instead of spending them driving 14 hours (or 20 hours if we are going to Camp Arcadia. What can I say, we are Lutherans at heart.). But it also means we miss out on a lot of things going on there.

We split our Christmases and Thanksgiving between our parents, and it’s great, but I wish we could celebrate with everyone. We also often miss out on seeing my precious baby cousins who aren’t even babies anymore. My parents host everyone at their house on Thursday’s for seafood night, and I wish more than anything I could join. My brother recently got married to a hilarious girl I get along with really well, and I wish we could do young-couple things with them. My little sister is super funny and creative and a great cook and I wish I could get more fashion advice from her than I do via text. I wish I could have the late nights drinking beer and having bonfires on the beach with my childhood friends like the days of yore.

But, such is life. I am incredibly blessed to be where I am and I don’t mean to gripe. But I just miss my family, dang it. Thank goodness for group messaging on the iPhone and a mother who just signed up for Instagram, right?

 

And for good measure, here’s a cool picture of frozen Lake Michigan I took over Christmas. Seriously amazing.

frozen