Category Archives: Husband

Day 5

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I have been home for three nights and two full days. So far, my recovery is fortunately pretty stagnant. My pain never increases or decreases, only my energy and crankiness levels fluctuate. I get easily exhausted by visitors (please don’t let this deter you from visiting!) and from moving around too much. I’ve tried to take some quality naps, though it usually ends up with me just laying in bed half asleep.

My home CPM machine arrived on Thursday. This was a MUCH better experience than the hospital. It helps that our bed is (obviously) perfectly flat and I can readjust however I desire. I really enjoy sleeping in the machine because it keeps me from getting stiff and sore, and for some reason it also is uncomfortable to have my knee perfectly straight.

Two amazing home nurses came to visit on Thursday. They changed my wound dressing, allowing me the first view of my scar. It’s amazing how much work they can do through only a 4-inch incision! It was smaller and neater than either Jon or I anticipated, so I am looking forward to minimal scarring. The nurses will come twice a week until I can start outpatient physical therapy. They both brightened my day by admiring how well I was recovering.

My ice machine made a miraculous return. Friday morning I got a call from Barnes-Jewish, and it was the security lady I had left a voicemail for on Wednesday when it went missing! Amazingly, some kind soul turned it in to lost and found. Jon’s mom went and picked it up for me immediately and I have been happily icing ever since.

I kicked out the Vistaril from my pain management regimen yesterday. After researching my medicine side effects, I deduced that it was Vistaril that was making my eyes unable to focus and my brain just generally mushy. I woke up today feeling more clear-headed and focused than I had all week, and no noticeable difference in my pain, so that’s great. My goal for this coming week is to gradually cut down on the frequency with which I take Norco.

Everything is going well. I can’t believe how lucky I am with a relatively issue-free recovery so far. Looking forward to my next Clohisy visit (in 3.5 weeks….) and an X-ray to see how my bones are growing. Onward!

What the heck was I thinking?

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(Written Wednesday evening, a few hours after we arrived home from the hospital. Most of it didn’t hold true starting the next day, but I still need to post it because it shows the horrible, along with the great)

Day 3.

I have made a horrible mistake. How could I have decided to do this to myself? Every time I make a movement my crotch cries out “WHYYYYY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!” And I cry right back, because I don’t have a good answer. It feels like there’s a little elf in there with a tiny knife when I move in a terrible way.

Otherwise, The last two days have been pretty good pain-wise. I was walking and talking and had a great appetite and all of that went downhill the second I got home. Actually, it got shitty the second the nurse tried to “help” me into the car but didn’t realize I couldn’t put full weight on my leg/hip and let me almost fall and die. Traumatic. I think that episode is the cause of my extreme discomfort currently.

Then we get home and realize we had left my saving grace, the Kodiak water machine ice pack, on the curb of the hospital. Jon zoomed back to get it but it was gone for good.

Now I am positioned ever-so-carefully in my bed with a zillion pillows and all my pain pills within arms reach. I can’t see myself sleeping very well, though I don’t have the CPM machine tonight strapped in tonight, so we will see. I already miss the nurses coming in every 4 hours to give me meds and take care of my needs. It was nice to not have to worry about my pill schedule, and it was extra nice to be able to try out a bunch of different meds to figure out what worked best. My current concoction is 2 Norcos every 4 hours, a Vistaril every 6, and a naproxen every 12. It worked well in the hospital but I’m a little concerned about my pain levels now, so we might have to reevaluate tomorrow.

Well, wish my husband luck. I’m so unhappy. This is a side of Lydia you never ever want to see.

2015

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I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions. Setting a goal for the rest of the year? Those are so hard to keep. I’m trying something new this year, inspired by many other blogs I read. I’m trying to do something different each month. I find that short-term goals work best for me (hello ADHD!) so I don’t get so discouraged or distracted. 31 days is a much easier commitment than 365. Also, I’m only setting several small goals for the next 2 months because we all know how life changes so quickly. Who knows what my life will bring come next December? I will evaluate come March and proceed from there.

January:

  1. Less phone time and social media. I had my husband change my Facebook password and deactivate it so I can’t get on if I tried until at least January 31st. Facebook is a huge time suck and I often find myself thinking “Why would you post that? It’s so annoying” and then I remember, oh yea, I don’t need to be reading this stuff I don’t care about. I have kept my Twitter, which I don’t really use or read, and my Instagram, which I find isn’t too much of a time suck. I also want to try put my phone away from after work until I go to bed at night and spend quality one-on-one time with my husband. Hopefully he will join me in this one (hint, hint, Mangosquash!).
  2. To be less gossipy and negative about others. This is, unfortunately, going to be difficult. I find myself being negative about others when they don’t deserve it. I want to try to be more open to their thoughts and opinions, even when I don’t really care. With that, I want to stop gossiping. If I am so private with my own life and information, why do I feel like I can spread others information so freely? This will hopefully be a long-term goal, but I need to start somewhere.
  3. Drink less. Specifically no alcohol from Monday-Thursday when we are at home.
  4. Blog every two weeks. I have been very inconsistent and I’d like to improve.

February

  1. Get back to running/the gym at least twice a week. Since my surgery last March, I really have not ran or exercised consistently, and it BREAKS my heart. I’m currently still going to PT for unrelated hip and back pain issues and hope to get the go-ahead to run again soon. I do have permission to bike and elliptical, but I just haven’t. Lazy Lydia. I also should take my dog for more walks.
  2. Keep the house picked up and in decent shape at all times. We have a terrible habit of leaving clutter out because people come to our house so rarely, which results in a scramble to clean when the time comes, which also results in me getting extremely cranky. Before bed I’d like the kitchen to be dish-free and wiped down, clothes picked up, bathroom free of clutter. Why is this so hard? My house is like 950 sq ft.

2015, I have a feeling this will be our year. We’ve got lots of hopes and dreams that depend on you being awesome 🙂

“So what do you do?”

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As an introverted young adult with still no idea what I want to be when I grow up and a job that I’m not particularly fond of, this question causes me more anxiety than being asked “so when will you have babies?”.

Why does it matter what I do?

I feel like this question has become a basis on which I am judged. That whatever my answer is, will provide the asker with a quick synopsis of my education, skills, and financial situation, 3 things that don’t define who I am. This quick judgment makes me feel uncomfortable and like the person asking doesn’t really want to know about ME.

I am so much more than my seemingly dead-end job.

I am an aspiring chef!

I am a dog lover and cat snuggler.

I am a wannabe half-marathoner.

I am a lazy person.

I am a former soccer, softball, tennis, and volleyball player and dutch dancer.

I am a good listener.

I am an avid reader.

I’m the best aunt to my BFF’s little Leah.

I love spending time kissing my husband.

I love spending my summers driving to Michigan as much as possible.

I’m a pretty good sister.

I enjoy drinking beer and talking for hours.

I hate spending too much time in large groups.

I was made to be a mom.

When I get asked what I do (which happens more and more frequently as I get older), I cringe before I give a quick answer of “Oh, I’m a social worker.” I hate the response I get for that: “oh you must see such sad things!” “oh you are so selfless and patient and kind” (spoiler- I’m not really. I often tell my husband I’m a princess) “Oh that must be hard” “Do you take children out of their families?” While yes, I do see sad things, and yes, it can be challenging, my job is not my passion or life and it doesn’t define who I am at all. I’ve come to just saying “I work at LFCS” and leave it open ended and vague (I love vague and hate giving personal details about anything).

I know I’m not the only person who feels this way. My friend is in a job rut right now, too, and was instructed not to tell his Grandmother for fear of her response.

WHY?

Well, 1., because Grandma is a (wonderful) crazy person and you don’t want to hear her abrasive opinions,
and 2., because to her, your job and well-being defines success. I don’t like that.

My success will come from raising my children to be kind, gentle, and God-loving creatures.

My success comes from my AWESOME marriage.

My success comes from my friendships and relationships with my family.

My success will be once I finally cross that finish line of the half marathon I so desperately want to run.

My success comes when I try a new recipe that turns out fantastic.

My success will come from providing for my family, sure, but only so I can do the things that actually make me, me.

Don’t ask me what I “do”.

Ask me about who I am.

And then help me find a new job 😉

Mangosquash

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If you know me in real life, you know that I’m borderline obsessed with my husband, mangosquash. I feel so lucky because he loves me so much and treats me so well. I honestly question most days how I scored him as a spouse for life. Poor guy got stuck with me.

So the other day I was cooking up a gourmet frozen pizza and remembered how before we met, I never ate frozen pizzas. I kept thinking about all the things he brought into my life and decided to make a list. This is by no means comprehensive.

  1. Frozen Jack’s Pizzas

I never in a million years would buy frozen pizzas for myself. I thought they were icky and cheap and full of preservatives. Turns out, they’re actually pretty tasty. I like to throw on lots of extra mozzarella for super gooey cheesy bites.

  1. Hot Sauce

I used to be a wimpy eater. I didn’t like spice at all. I’d avoid chili and wings and curries for fear of not enjoying my food if I was in pain while eating it. Now I’m all “FRANKS RED HOT ON ALL THE FOODS!” Jon likes things super spicy so I’ve started making most dishes with a kick to them. I’m growing.

  1. Chicken Wings

Another thing that I used to never eat. Not necessarily because I didn’t like them, but they just weren’t a part of my life. But when Jon and I first started dating, we would go on double dates weekly with 2 other friends to Buffalo Wild Wings. They are now a whole food group in our house. Spicier the better.

  1. Camp Arcadia

Jon grew up going to this magical land for most of his childhood, and when we met, he had just been hired back for his second summer on staff. I was able to celebrate his (extremely drunken) 21st birthday with him there at the lone bar in town, the Big Apple (may it RIP, but also is reopening next summer). It didn’t take long for me to fall in love it with; camp is a quiet, beautiful place right on the shores of Lake Michigan. There are so many wonderful lifelong friends we have there. Jon’s parents now own a house up in Arcadia so we are able to bring our precious pooch with us. We love it so much, it was the obvious choice for our wedding and reception over 2 years ago.  It also conveniently worked out in such a way that my hometown, Holland, is literally on the way up to camp from STL, so this enables us to visit my parents each time we go up to camp. We already talk about the days where we can bring our children up and teach them to swim and give them the same experience Jon enjoyed so much.

  1. Ultimate Frisbee

Jon isn’t by any means “athletic”, but he does love playing ultimate Frisbee. He played in college on the club team and for intramurals, and now back in STL he joined the local summer league. When I moved here, I joined him for a summer and love it. Already looking forward to next summer when I can (hopefully!) participate in active sports again. This summer I sat out due to my surgery.

  1. Puppies

Not that I didn’t already think puppies weren’t the cutest little things ever, but I never really loved dogs themselves. Jon grew up with dogs his whole life so I knew it was inevitable that it would be something he would want for us. I found an adorable pup on Craigslist that I HADTOHAVE and since he really wanted a dog, he agreed. Since getting our pup I now love and appreciate every single dog I meet (and I meet a lot. Owning a dog makes you very social).

Ok, so this list kind of sucks. Moral of the story, though, is that I am so thankful for a man that pushes my comfort level and encourages me. Love you sweetheart!