As an introverted young adult with still no idea what I want to be when I grow up and a job that I’m not particularly fond of, this question causes me more anxiety than being asked “so when will you have babies?”.

Why does it matter what I do?

I feel like this question has become a basis on which I am judged. That whatever my answer is, will provide the asker with a quick synopsis of my education, skills, and financial situation, 3 things that don’t define who I am. This quick judgment makes me feel uncomfortable and like the person asking doesn’t really want to know about ME.

I am so much more than my seemingly dead-end job.

I am an aspiring chef!

I am a dog lover and cat snuggler.

I am a wannabe half-marathoner.

I am a lazy person.

I am a former soccer, softball, tennis, and volleyball player and dutch dancer.

I am a good listener.

I am an avid reader.

I’m the best aunt to my BFF’s little Leah.

I love spending time kissing my husband.

I love spending my summers driving to Michigan as much as possible.

I’m a pretty good sister.

I enjoy drinking beer and talking for hours.

I hate spending too much time in large groups.

I was made to be a mom.

When I get asked what I do (which happens more and more frequently as I get older), I cringe before I give a quick answer of “Oh, I’m a social worker.” I hate the response I get for that: “oh you must see such sad things!” “oh you are so selfless and patient and kind” (spoiler- I’m not really. I often tell my husband I’m a princess) “Oh that must be hard” “Do you take children out of their families?” While yes, I do see sad things, and yes, it can be challenging, my job is not my passion or life and it doesn’t define who I am at all. I’ve come to just saying “I work at LFCS” and leave it open ended and vague (I love vague and hate giving personal details about anything).

I know I’m not the only person who feels this way. My friend is in a job rut right now, too, and was instructed not to tell his Grandmother for fear of her response.

WHY?

Well, 1., because Grandma is a (wonderful) crazy person and you don’t want to hear her abrasive opinions,
and 2., because to her, your job and well-being defines success. I don’t like that.

My success will come from raising my children to be kind, gentle, and God-loving creatures.

My success comes from my AWESOME marriage.

My success comes from my friendships and relationships with my family.

My success will be once I finally cross that finish line of the half marathon I so desperately want to run.

My success comes when I try a new recipe that turns out fantastic.

My success will come from providing for my family, sure, but only so I can do the things that actually make me, me.

Don’t ask me what I “do”.

Ask me about who I am.

And then help me find a new job 😉